Silent Memories Part II: Sad Memories
by Cherry Blossoms Kaorin
Summary: Rukawa Kaede was just searching for something in his drawer when he came upon a thing of the past which made him reminisce the incident that happened in his past which had turned him into a cold, aloof, ignorant and distant person. That incident would alw


Silent Memories Part II: Sad Memories  
  
Basketball practice was over and he was riding his bike home while sleeping and listening to his discman. Saliva was slowly dripping down his chin. The cool night air blew to his face and ruffled his raven hair.  
  
Then he arrived at his destination and stopped. Even though he was asleep, he depended on his instincts. He always depends on his instincts and he only trusts his instincts.  
  
Half awake, he got off his bike and dragged it on the ground. He left it outside his house and went in not knowing that there was someone lurking outside peeking at him through a window. He went to the kitchen and got an apple from the refrigerator. Biting his apple, he strode to his room and opened his drawer to get his account book. He wanted to check how much money was left in his bank account.  
  
As he searched through his things for it, he encountered a photo frame holding a picture that was taken years ago. It reminded him of the past. A hurt look came across his face and tears were threatening to trickle.  
  
The person behind the window saw the picture and thought sadly /He still keeps the photo even after what I did to him..I'm so sorry, Kaede-kun../  
  
~Flashback~ He and his two best friends, Ryu and Shikari went to the same junior high school just as they had agreed to. They had known each other since kids. They were never apart from each other. He had always had a crush on Shikari who sometimes seems to act like his older sister.  
  
They were always there for each other when one has any problem. The three of them always seem like siblings and they always love to think so too as they don't have any sibling except for Shikari who has a little brother. They have a lot in common and do lots of things together. They share secrets with each other until one day, which had broken their friendship.  
  
They always meet at the school's front steps to walk home together and on a certain day, Ryu had to run a chore for her mother so he had to go and do it immediately after school. That leaves Shikari and Rukawa.  
  
"So, how was school, Kae-kun?"  
  
"So-so, the classes were as boring as ever."  
  
"Eh? I'm shocked to hear this from a top scorer." She chuckled. "Seriously, how can you score so good when you always daydream during classes? Tell me your secret, ne Kae-kun?"  
  
"I don't have any secret; you know that, Shi-chan."  
  
She laughed. "Ok, fine. What plans do you have for the rest of the day?"  
  
"Hmm.I haven't really thought of it. I guess I'll just stay at home and watch TV then."  
  
"Nani? You are so boring, Kae-kun." She rolled her eyes. "Don't you have something more fun to do?" Then she snapped her fingers and smiled. "I know, why don't we go to the arcade then since I don't have any plants too?"  
  
He groaned. "Don't you have enough of the arcade after staying there for so long a few days ago?"  
  
She grinned. "Iie. Come on, Kae-kun. Admit it, it's much more fun than staying at home, surfing the channels trying to find something to watch, isn't it?"  
  
Sighing in response, he replied. "Wakata. I'll call Ryu later to see if he'll be able to go."  
  
She smiled. "Great, thanks Kae-kun."  
  
Her smile made his heart pound a little and he turned away. "No problem." Then they walked in silence and Rukawa spoke. "Hey, how's Kitsuke?"  
  
"Fine, just that he's begging me to ask you and Ryu to teach him basketball." She rolled her eyes.  
  
He chuckled. "I thought he gave it up last time?"  
  
"He said a classmate of his was showing off his basketball skills and he was amazed so he's on basketball craze now again." She shook her head and smiled sadly. "Well, having a hobby again will help to lift off his mind away from thinking about father's death."  
  
Putting on a concerned look, he asked. "I thought he was over it?"  
  
"Just a few days ago, there was a meeting to meet the students' meeting and he was depressed to see so many students with their fathers." She sighed and looked up at the sky. "If only..if only that day I realized that he was in pain but then he told me he was fine. If only I knew that he was lying to me." Tears started rolling down her cheek and she blinked her eyes, trying to stop more tears from rolling down.  
  
Then he took her in his arms and murmured. "It's ok, Shikari." He patted her head. "It wasn't your fault. Your father just didn't want to worry you that's all. He thought he was gonna be alright."  
  
"I'm his daughter. Why did he have to lie to me? If he had told he was in pain, I would have called my mom and she would have called the ambulance or something. Anything to keep him alive?" The tears could not be hold back anymore and more tears start streaming down her face.  
  
He hushed. "Shh. It's alright. I'm here for you and so is Ryu, right? We are best friends, ne?"  
  
"It's just that sometimes it's too hard for me to handle. Sometimes I can see that mom's pretending to be alright and cheery but underneath she's actually isn't over his death yet and Kitsuke always look up to dad as he used to be a baseball player and always asked him to teach him how to play but ever since dad's gone, it's like his hope to be a baseball player like dad is gone already.just like dad's gone..And I had to keep the family going. I had to be there for my family and try to cheer them up but at times they weren't being very co-operative and I just can't take it anymore." She choked back her sobs. "I need.I need someone to be there for me.to share my problems with someone.to hold someone tightly and that someone to assure me that everything is alright.."  
  
This came as a little shock to Rukawa as Shikari had never told this to him or Ryu before. Shikari always seemed so strong and cheery that he thought she never had any problems but here she is, telling him who she actually is. He had thought that she had not known how to cry anymore. Ever since her father died when she was still small, she had not cry anymore like crying is a weakness and there was no use crying after all crying can't help solve problems. Whenever they had any problems, she was always there to help solve them but now he knew that it was hard for her too. She wasn't very strong as she appears to be.  
  
"I'm sorry, Shikari, I always thought I could depend on you to solve my problems and I never bother to ask about you. I thought you were strong like you appear to be and had no problems."  
  
She smiled faintly. "Daijobu, Kae-kun. I understand."  
  
"In return.I can be that someone for you. Can I?" He continued. "I..I wanna be there for you to listen to your problems, hold you tightly and tell you everything's fine..can I?"  
  
The end of her lips twitched and she nodded. "Yes." And she leaned on his shoulder. "Arigatoo Kae-kun."  
  
"You're welcome." He pulled her off his shoulder and looked down into her eyes. He bent down and kissed her lips. When they parted, he whispered. "Daisuki."  
  
She took a step backward. "Are you sure, Kae-kun? Because this is out of pity, I don't want your love. I don't want to have a relationship with someone who is doing it just out of pitiness."  
  
"No, Shikari.I..I love you for a long time ever since we were kids." He smiled.  
  
"Honto ka?"  
  
"Honto."  
  
She smiled again. "Me too, Kae-kun but I thought it was impossible since we are best friends and I always thought that I don't wanna have a relationship with my best friend."  
  
"Well, we are together now, ne? And it's alright for us to develop into boyfriend and girlfriend from best friends, you know."  
  
She grinned. "Sure." She laid her head again on his shoulder.  
  
He patted her head and kissed her forehead. Together, they walked home hand- in-hand.  
  
Later, they went to the arcade and played dozen times before Shikari finally said that she was tired, Ryu gave up playing and went to Danny's. Then and there Ryu groaned.  
  
"I don't know how you can beat me, Shi-chan." Then he snapped his fingers. "There must be something wrong with the machine or I must have accidentally press wrong buttons." He scratched his chin. "That must be it."  
  
Shikari rolled her eyes. "Admit it, Ryu, you lost to me."  
  
"No, it must be luck. That's right. It must be luck."  
  
"Whatever you say." She said.  
  
If she hadn't said that, he would keep continuing think of reasons that he lost to her. They had that sort of conversation so many times that it was countless when Ryu lose to Shikari in the games.  
  
Rukawa chortled. "You never give up, do you, Ryu?"  
  
"Of course not." He looked over at his friend. "Ne Kae-kun, don't you ever get tired of standing at the side, looking at us play?"  
  
Shikari agreed. "Yeah. It must be boring just standing there and look at us play?"  
  
He laughed. "What? Two against one? I'm not bored as long as I have company and besides I get to see you two play so I'm not bored. It's not like as if I'm just standing there with nothing to do."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Of course I'm sure. I've always been standing at the side, you know."  
  
"Ok, if it's alright with you then." She kissed him on the cheek. "So, where are we going now? I don't wanna get home yet."  
  
"Hmm.how 'bout the book store? I wanna buy some books to read. I finished those that I bought a few days ago."  
  
Tapping her chin then she responded. "Sure, I've been so bored lately and I'm tired of looking for something to do. Maybe I'll be able to find some books to entertain myself for couple of days."  
  
"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go. Come on, Ryu, if you are not gonna get up and come with us, we are not waiting for you."  
  
"Matte!! Hey, tell me what's going on between you two that I don't know. Tell me if not I'll buy you guys for the rest of your life."  
  
The three of them walked together, chattering with each other.  
  
Days and days gone by with the three of them living their life happily, enjoying the company of each other. Their friendship had grown and blossomed with each obstacle in the way until one day when Rukawa was asked to go for a student exchange program to America. He was told the school he was gonna go had a great basketball team and the coach of his school's basketball team encouraged him to go so he could learn couple of basketball tactics from the team.  
  
Rukawa of course agreed and was glad to have the opportunity but was sad that he had to leave both Shikari and Ryu behind. He needn't worry about family because his parents died when he was still young. Shikari was also depressed that Rukawa had to go while Ryu on the other hand knew that it had always been his buddy's dream to go to America to study the country's basketball playing.  
  
"Kae-kun.I'll miss you.."  
  
"I will too, Shi-chan. It's just 6 months only. I'll be back before you know it. We can still keep in touch. We can send emails to each other, ne? So, don't worry, ok?"  
  
"Shikashi.."  
  
Ryu protested. "Come on, Shikari, it has always been Kaede's dream to go to America so don't get all sad about it, will you?"  
  
Shikari sniffed then smiled. "Fine, I'm just sad that Kae-kun will leave me behind here."  
  
Ryu crossed his arms. "I'm offended. Did you forget about your another best friend here?"  
  
"I didn't mean that, Ryu. Ok, don't get mad, ok?" Then she turned back to Rukawa. "But Kaede, I won't stay in the way of your dream. I'll stay strong and wait for the day for you to come, ne?" She beamed at him.  
  
Rukawa nodded and smiled. "Thanks for being so understanding." He kissed her and when they broke off, Ryu spoke again.  
  
"I'm forgotten here again. Sheesh! Do you guys still remember me, the friend here? Or am I not your friend anymore?"  
  
Rukawa laughed. "Sorry, ok, Ryu? Do you want a kiss then?"  
  
Ryu gagged. "No way."  
  
"Come on, buddy, don't be shy."  
  
Ryu ran when Rukawa chased after him while Shikari just stood there watching them and laughing.  
  
~6 months later~ Rukawa finally came back from America. In the airport, he stood, looking for two people he had missed so much. Then he heard the voice he had missed time and time.  
  
"Kaede."  
  
He turned around and saw Shikari smiling at him with Ryu at her side. Shikari ran over to him and hugged him.  
  
"Hey, how have you been doing?" He asked softly.  
  
"Fine, how about you? I missed you so much."  
  
"So do I." He smiled at the face looking up at him and kissed the lips which was smiling.  
  
Ryu then ran over to him and gave him a high-five. "Hey buddy, how's America?"  
  
Rukawa grinned. "Great. I learned couple of basketball tactics."  
  
"You gotta teach me."  
  
"Sure, sure. Now let's get to my house first, ok?"  
  
They walked together, chattering happily like old times.  
  
When they reached Rukawa's house, Rukawa unlocked the door and went in, inhaling the scent of his house. "Hmm..it smells the same." He carried his luggage in and then said. "Come on, sit down." He went to his kitchen and made cups of tea for each of them. Then he brought them out and handed them to his friends.  
  
After taking one sip, he got up. "I'll go and pack my stuff. You guys sit here first, ok? When I'm done, you guys better fill in what have been going on, ok?"  
  
There was a silence before Shikari responded. "Uh, sure, I'll go out to the porch and take some fresh air, ok?"  
  
"Sure. Well, I'll go up now." He went up, carrying his luggage up. After packing everything into its original place, he laid on the bed. A photo frame caught his eye and he got up. The photo was a picture of the three of them when they were having a picnic at a beach. He smiled at the memory. He placed back the photo and went down. When he saw that Ryu wasn't in the living room, he went to the porch where the two of them were standing. He was about to speak but stopped when he heard what they were saying.  
  
"Shikari.now that Kaede is back, are you gonna be back at his side?'"  
  
"I..I don't know."  
  
"What about us?"  
  
"..I don't know too."  
  
Ryu grabbed both Shikari's arms and stared into her eyes. "Do you love me, Shikari? Or was it just that you were too depressed, lonely and desperate so you pretended to love me?"  
  
Shikari looked at his face and responded. "Ryu, I do love you and I love Kaede too.."  
  
"Well, you have to choose between the two of us. And are you gonna tell Kaede about us?"  
  
"I will.but now isn't a good time. He just got back and I don't wanna spoil his coming back."  
  
"Fine, I understand but promise that you will tell him soon, ok?"  
  
She nodded then he kissed her forehead.  
  
Couldn't hold it anymore, he strode over and demanded. "What's going on here?"  
  
Shikari looked up in shock. "Kae-kun."  
  
"You two got together while I'm gone, huh? So I'm all forgotten in the relationship. You guys must have been wishing that I won't come back, is it?"  
  
Ryu protested," Kaede, please listen to what we have to say."  
  
Rukawa held up a hand. "I think I've heard enough. I thought leaving my girlfriend into the hands of my best friend was the right thing to do but I can see I'm wrong."  
  
"Kaede, Shikari is my best friend too. I have the right to look after her."  
  
"Please Kaede, please listen to what I have to say. It might not be the best explanation but at least you know what has happened when you left."  
  
"No, I wanna hear no more. I have enough." With that, he ran away. He had to get away from the both of them, the reality, the world, the change and himself.  
  
He had to calm himself down and think what had been going on. He ran and ran for a few hours and arrived at a mountain. There at the mountain, he took a deep breath and shouted, trying to relief his anger. Then he sat down and let out a breath.  
  
"I can't believe what they both did after I left." He snorted. "So my coming back was a mistake, I should have stayed at America for the rest of my life. I was just ruining their relationship by returning to here."  
  
He sighed and held his head in his hands.  
  
When he got home, both of them had left, leaving a note on the dining table. It read that to meet at Danny's tomorrow if he's ready to talk. He crushed up the note and went up to his room.  
  
The next day came and Rukawa felt slightly better. He quickly got ready to meet them. They were already there when he arrived. He didn't even bother to acknowledge them and just sat down at a table near theirs. There was silence in the place without anyone talking. They were the only customers at that time as it was still early.  
  
Shikari cleared her throat and said. "Kaede, before you left, I promised to stay strong, remember?"  
  
He didn't respond. There was only a cold look on his face.  
  
"Anyway, when you left, something.something happen that I couldn't keep my promise anymore." She stifled her tears, recalling the memory. "My mom one day was suddenly in pain and I was so worried that what happened to dad would happen to my mother. She was in treatment for a few hours but she's alright now."  
  
His face softened but he still refused to say anything.  
  
She continued. "But before I was told that she was alright, I was so worried and scared. You weren't there for me. I didn't want the same thing happen to my mom. I'm tired of being the one keeping the family together and assuring my family member that everything was alright whenever something wrong happen to another one. I needed someone by my side, to be the one to tell me that I can share my problem with him and he'll help to keep my brother calm." She turned to Ryu and smiled faintly at him. "And..Ryu was the one there for me."  
  
Finally, Rukawa spoke. "So the both of you start getting together, right?"  
  
"Yes.Kaede."  
  
"This is the explanation you are giving me. Even though I wasn't there by your side and you needed someone by your side, you needn't to get into relationship with Ryu, do you?"  
  
She looked down at her hands and tears started dropping down onto her hand. "Gomen Kae-kun."  
  
"I'm getting out of here. I don't wanna hear anymore from the both of you again." He left the place and walked back to his house. /Funny that I'm not crying now..even when I found out that the both of them were in a relationship.I guess it's because I forgot how to cry ever since after my parents died./ He snorted. /I promise to myself that I will not trust anyone anymore and I will become stronger. I will keep myself away from all these people. I have enough of such people living in this world./  
  
When Rukawa went to school tomorrow, he totally ignored everyone who greeted him, leaving all of them shocked. It was hard for him to start getting use to ignoring so many people who he knew and became good friends with. But he had to; he couldn't afford being betrayed by another friend again. He had enough of friendship. Whenever he sees Shikari or Ryu, he would just walk away without a word, like as if they were invisible.  
  
Being aloof prevent from anyone making friends with him and prevent anybody from betraying him again. He didn't trust anyone anymore so that kind of incident won't repeat anymore. He didn't care about his studies anymore and his grades kept dropping. The only things he cared about are basketball and sleeping. Basketball takes his mind off his problems, the unjust world and everything that's going on in the world. Sleeping helps him leave the realistic world and into his own fantasy of his choices.  
  
When they graduated from junior high school, he had moved away to another house far away from where the two of them lived. And since, Shohoku High School was near to his house so he decided to go there and the both of them weren't studying there too which was a good thing.  
  
~End of Flashback~ Recalling the past was so painful but he didn't cry. It's been so long since he cried and he didn't intend to break the record. Sighing, he put back the photo frame into the drawer under pieces of paper. He laid on his bed and took a deep breath then at the corner of his eye, he saw a figure outside at his window. He turned to look but the figure quickly moved down when it realized that he had noticed it.  
  
He quickly ran out of his house and went to the spot where he saw the figure was and saw the person he had least expected to be there. Rukawa narrowed his eyes. "Why are you here?"  
  
"Kaede, ever since we graduated from Tomigaoka, I've been looking all over for you and I saw you playing matches for Shohoku High and decided to go to the school to find out where you live from your school record."  
  
He glared at him. "Don't you respect people's privacy? Looking at people's records and peeking at people."  
  
"Kaede.I just wanted to see how you were doing."  
  
"So you had to find out by peeking at people, huh?"  
  
"Kaede.I'm sorry for what I did to you, ok? Can't you forget the past?"  
  
Rukawa didn't respond.  
  
"Anyway, Shikari wants to know if you are going to celebrate the anniversary of the day we met each other with us. It's tomorrow..."  
  
"No."  
  
"Come on, Kaede, please. Just this once."  
  
"No. That's it." He left the guy there and went in his house. He closed the door behind him and leaned on it.  
  
"I can't forget the past and I never will. I learnt a lesson from it and never will forget the lesson."  
  
The night was so quiet leaving the two of them in silence and loneliness. The leaves of the trees rustled caused by the wind. The silence was enjoyed by the aloof protagonist.  
  
~FIN~  
  
Author's note: Hi! I'm so glad that this fic is finally finished. I had the idea earlier this year but only finish almost at the end of the year ^^;; The idea I had was slightly changed into this. My first work was written of the previous idea which I dislike and this is better. I know this is probably not very well written. In fact I don't really much like it. Oh well. This fic was actually called Hidden Feelings. It was before Nellie's fic titled 'Hidden Feelings' was posted so I wanted to change since I didn't want to have the same name. Then I settled for this name. Took me some time to come up with the name 'Sad Memories' Anyway, thanks for reading. 


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